is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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