im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
