I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
