Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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