I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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