You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
