you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
