fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize