I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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