I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
