think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
