We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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