He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
