I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
