Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Me too!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
