IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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