shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops