did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
