Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.