btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
