Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song

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  (253): To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song http://tfl.nu/rtr4
  Replies (17) Good night (2566) Bad night (800)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone

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  (248): I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone http://tfl.nu/ll67
  Replies (46) Good night (6849) Bad night (2117)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.

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  (954): I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call. http://tfl.nu/2awv
  Replies (17) Good night (3797) Bad night (793)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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  (206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj
  Replies (36) Good night (871) Bad night (4360)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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  (412): my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed http://tfl.nu/3q3u
  Replies (17) Good night (1111) Bad night (4278)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.

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  (302): He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before. http://tfl.nu/latf
  Replies (13) Good night (931) Bad night (4242)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.

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  (513): Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud. http://tfl.nu/fmdm
  Replies (96) Good night (13402) Bad night (2346)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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  (+44): It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people. http://tfl.nu/mlxk
  Replies (6) Good night (3294) Bad night (910)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am

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  (716): I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am http://tfl.nu/oz9f
  Replies (5) Good night (3221) Bad night (1220)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low

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  (317): My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low http://tfl.nu/zc60
  Replies (7) Good night (1454) Bad night (1081)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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  (425): The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned. http://tfl.nu/65g6
  Replies (2) Good night (761) Bad night (408)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.

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  (847): I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message. http://tfl.nu/fe15
  Replies (1) Good night (1167) Bad night (382)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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  (352): I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!! http://tfl.nu/xhpg
  Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (334)
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  (+65): View more from

  My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood

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  (+65): My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood http://tfl.nu/m0vo
  Replies (5) Good night (532) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.

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  (828): There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper. http://tfl.nu/4caj
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (247)

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