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Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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