paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize