Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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