Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My bed smells like the plague
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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