oh god the rape fog is back!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
