I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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