Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
