I can tuck mytits in my pants
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize