i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
