You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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