I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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