New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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