I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
