I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
