No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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