I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
