Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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