FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
