He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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