I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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