Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
