i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
