i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
