he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
