The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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