After last night, I could never be a politician.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
