you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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