Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
After last night, I could never be a politician.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
