Do vagina's smell?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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