i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize