remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize