I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
