And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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