okay pat passed out under dana's car
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
