im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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