I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
