at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
