I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
