I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
