doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.