I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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