I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
