So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
