I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you traded sex for a burrito?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize