I showed him my bush... on skype.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
